Why Zombies are lame.

   I'm pretty much sick of this whole new Zombie fad that has swept the nation in recent years. I do admit that whenever something I hold dear becomes "popular" it tends to ruin it for me. Example: Nightmare before Christmas. Good film. Was one of my top favorite all time films for many years until all these little scenester emo/goth wanna be fags started taking pilgrimages to HotTopic and buying everything that has Jack or Sally on it, and Yes, some of them have never seen the movie.


   Zombies. Yes I have a zombie outbreak plan. Doesn't everybody? But recently I realized that maybe everyone is over thinking the whole "what to do in case of zombie outbreak!" Myself included. I mean, there are a lot worse things to be afraid of than zombies. I don't think surviving a zombie plague would be too difficult, World War Z be damned.

   But the Machines. Now there is something to be afraid of. Zombies will only attack you if you are near and only because instinct tells them too. In other words, it's nothing personal. The machines are programmed to kill YOU. That's very personal. They don't need to eat or sleep. They will not freeze in cold weather, they have nuclear weapons, plasma phased pulse rifles and time travel. It doesn't matter how many you kill because Sky Net is always making more. There will only be as many zombies as there are people on the earth and since zombies also eat people only about half of those bitten will actually become zombies themselves, maybe even fewer.

   The machines can attack you on any terrain or from the air even. They are self aware and have the ability to think and problem solve. Zombies just wonder around aimlessly until they happen to come upon some food. And what happens when their food runs out? They die. When all of humanity is terminated the machines will just go on and on and on.

   So there you have it. Zombies are pussies when compared to the machines. It's very unsettling when someone sends a toaster back in time to kill you.